^^

sorry for not posting any pictures in my favorite bloggie..

with the reason that im too lazy to switch on the Bluetooth and switch it off again...

haha...

everyone know that im a lazy bug....

so sorry~

i think i had appear a while...coz there is no internet access at my house...

i had gone through the day that i HATE the most...which is my birthday...i have an 'unforgettable' birthday this year..

.which is the one i loves is not with me...everyone know that i can't live without him...n he cant spend my birthday with me and i really sad...even the day before my birthday i had cry whole night.....nothing important than birthday...!!!

for me...those Christmas... anniversary....all is unnecessary....but BIRTHDAY is the must...

i told him that i will never spend my birthday with him anymore...

for my dear friend, i bet they know this is the 1st year i spend my birthday with him...

but at the end...i got nothing special on that day ..

i expect he'll give me a surprise...but end up with nothing....

i never felt so so so sad that day...

for past 2years i got my house-mates and my classmates with me....

but not for this year...

until now im still can fell the pain....

i saw many friends or bloggers can enjoy their big day with their closest...but for me...i end up my big day with the notes and whole day class..

im envy of that....

but reli thx to my friends at kampar...they celebrate with me...and im so touched....

im always think that did i made a wrong choice for my future...??

should i continue my life here...with this suxx place...with those bad things that continued happen on me...i reli need someone with me all the time...but who's available..?

i miss my ex-housemate which can chat with me even they had morning class on the next day...

i miss the time i cry in-front them, but they'll never stop me from crying....

sometimes when i stress i reli dunoe who should i chat with...

brother thinks that it's very easy to live here...

parents prepared everything for me...

but there's still many thing i nid to settle myself...

those stress cant be explained....

and i noe that only me, myself can solve it...

whatever...Im reli sad on my big day....

i think nobody will have a lame birthday like me....

i swear i'll never celebrate it again..!!

finally ... everything is finally now....

finally in new sem....

finally the worst birthday over....

finally result out...

finally back to here.....

everything was happened in a minute....

even me oso cnt accept this all.....

but anyway...life is still go on...cant pause it....jz can choose which channel u wane enjoy.....

Finals around the corner....

people out there, please pray for me....

so that i can focus during the finals..

i'm so worried of my MRIP....i still have no ideas about it...

hope can pass it all...

will try my best...

bye, my blog...

meet u after i finish my war and still alive...

bye, fb...

will continue soon~

random

why girls have to suffered every month..?
i don't get it...
and i hate it....
i wish to be boy to avoid all this suffered ~


imma super duper lazy to move now..
i had stick on my chair for few hours....
i wish to blog...
but im lazy to transfer my picture to my lappie..
i wish to watch movie..
but once i lye on the bed...it's hurt...


wht can i do is jz boring with the fb boring games...

my mood is still down down down...
as my darling gone bek yesterday....
it's still not enuf although he already accompany me for few days...(bcoz merdeka day)
i wish i can be more independent so that darling will not feel suffered o~
im very sorry to my darling...
i will try to change my attitude..
muacks~


♥

uhhhhh....have to prepare for my finals...? i don't thk so...bcoz i still haven't switch on my study mood yet...how~~~help me...can i pass thru all this..? there are many reason why i can't concentrate
1) i havent done my own notes.
2) my network here is excellent, it makes my hand itchy
3) i got nobody accompany me study(i miss my yean,nini n all my x-housemates)

with all these reason i really cannot concentrate...i have to watch movie and then study and after that my brain was so blank...damn shit..should i throw my lappie away..?
btw...my final will start on 14th Sep. 2010 ~~~ 27th Sep. 2010....izit a lil bit long ..??? and guess wat, the duration list in the calendar in totally different..wat the shit....who is the planner..?i wane kill him/her.... i cannot complain on my exam timetable becoz i thk it also helping me to pass...(give me 10days break to study 2 subs)

okay i shall continue my notes now...
take k, ppl....i will miss my blog a lot...
i will blog if i feel my hand itchy~

I'm just came back from KL and also Malacca...yeap..last weekend was the most happy moments i ever have....attend my brother's degree convocation and then meet our new family member..which is dai shou...*hehehe*she's very nice...good girl...and she's too thin when she's stand beside me~im just so so so jealous..==''
after that we headed all the way back to Malacca, my sweet home...feel very relax when i arrive my home..no worried of eat sleep and also the work i do half-way at Kampar...*hate*
although i go back Malacca but i never step to the outside door til the day i have to come back...hate the feeling to leave..watching my parents' back view is such a sad thing u know...
after that have to come back and attend the PTPTN submitting the doc..just to come back and submit it...and this is another story that i really wane share here..
although we are borrowing the money from government and still have to look at those 'pork face'..
i damn angry with their attitude...not only me,but some of them also kena shoot..
i can swear i listen very careful what the pork told me is to let the ppl sign at the place where i sign..n when the time i let her check again..she shout at me and said :
'' U TAU DENGAR BAHASA MELAYU TAK..? BERAPA UMUR AWAK MASIH TAK TAU APA SAYA CAKAP...''
what the *f____* if i donoe the BAHASA MELAYU how i fill all those form, how can i live til today....reli have a pork brain...
i was damn angry that moment , but the moment i pass up it was like...uhhh, finally..
because of those doc, i had many bad dreams before this..and yet they request for many many thgs..i hope i really can get this loan , if not i really donoe where to vomit such amount of money to pay my fees...

爸爸妈妈。。谢谢你们~

不知道是不是最近老了，什么都要看的开.....
最近都是一个人在房间里想了很多~
都是我个人的问题啦，绝对不关任何人对我的事。

我承认自己真的很脆弱。什么事都是忍不了就是哭....
觉得自己真的真的很失败，不只这样很失败的我也常常的抱怨，明明很幸福的我，还是要抱怨...
人都是这样吗？
我得老哥时常都会说我是--〉败家女
好啦。。我也认了....可是我亲爱的哥哥，你知道当你说一次这一句话的时候我的心真的在流着泪你知道吗?
我最伤心最难过不是遇到挫折的时候而是当你伤心时家人还不断的给你难听的话。。那是我最受不了的事....
一个人在外面生活真的有点难。。可是人一定要学会独立，而我的独立是慢了点，可是好过没有把，当你遇到什么难题时真的很希望找个人来聊聊，可是这时你又会担心别人会看到你脆弱的一面.......所以只好选择沉默....

现在的我什么都不要求多了...只希望能快点把这里的书读完然后出来找份工好好的赚钱。。还给爸爸妈妈~我欠你们的实在太多太多了.....有人说生个孩子就要花个100万....而我，我觉得我已经超过了这个amount~

我好想现在就回家，喝碗妈妈煮的汤哦~

♥

谢谢你，也对不起

谢谢你是因为你对我的容忍~
对不起是因为我的任性每次都让你吃不消~
我答应过你我会改就是会做到。。

也很感动你为我改了那么多，我知道因为我你失去了很多娱乐的时间。
不喜欢你出去到那么夜是因为我担心你，也因为你需要做工，所以不希望你出到那么迟。
darling,我知道有时就算你不开心都要装到很开心，明明就是累了，但因为怕我生气你就装到很精神。朋友都说我很好命，不只有父母疼还有那么好的一个男朋友疼。
这些我都知道啊，我知道你不喜欢看到我喝酒，也因为是你担心。我答应你我会改掉的。
darling，我很开心你选择了我，也因为你的选择我整个人都变了。
从那天开始我就跟我自己说。。最开心的日子都要跟你过。。
所以你生日那一天那么重要怎么可以让给被人呢。。？
所以就不要再怪我冲动了。。

Darling,我知道你一直都很疼我，所以我一定不会辜负你对我的爱。
给我多两年时间我会尽快把书读完也会读好的。
之后就不需要你那么辛苦每次来回4个钟。
每次看到你那么累都还要来陪下我，我真的很感动，所以我会更加疼爱你咯~

你放心，我在这里会好好的过完它（可是偶尔也会跟你发发牢骚，所以委屈你啦）
我会好好照顾好自己的身体的，不会让自己就那么容易的倒下的~
你在那里也是阿，不要每次都出到那么夜啊。。
Darling，等我~♥