2011 first post

okay...i know it's been a long time i didnt post anything here...

at first, i taught i can post many thing about x'mas and new year pictures...

but at the end, my December is full of tears and sadness...

i think most of my reader know how emo i am recently...

but it's real...everytime when i thk of im gonna stay alone, live alone, watching movie alone..

my tears will automatically comes out and yet it's hard to stop also...

the day i spent this few weeks is really boring and full of sadness..

but what can i do ..? he already gave up me, what i do also useless...

because it doesn't work on him anymore...

i know im like giving up myself also...but it's real...

i really don't have any motivation without him..

the sadness and the tears always comes to me at the middle of the night...

what should i do..i just can wipe off and say to myself..be tough...

i only can said i already try my best to do it well in front of my families..

what can i do ...?

always act like im really happy can satisfied what i gain and what i get..(only infront of them..)

after that i will either use the beer or movies to make myself tired and fall a sleep...

really stupid right..?

but girls always the one get hurt and some of them even do the more stupid thing than me..

but i won't do those thing that will ends my life...because i still have my parents ..they need me...

btw, what i do recently is just sit ,lye, eat and slp...(just a simple life)

i don't know i should continue writing my blog or not...

because it may sounds emo and sad...

im sorry if u thk my post is boring and emo...